About me
Hi. My name is Sandra and I am CPD Accredited and Certified Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach and I work mainly with individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse. My clients are the ones who have been, or still are, involved with the individuals exhibiting narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic abuse is becoming increasingly recognized. However there is still lots of confusion of what narcissistic abuse looks like. In healing from narcissistic abuse, the most crucial thing is to give yourself time in order to process and understand of what you are going through.
Setting right boundaries and clear goals is a place to start with. But don’t worry if you think, you are not able to do it, as sometimes at the rock bottom, you just have to take first step forward and concentrate on one step at a time.
Also, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day – you are more than able to do something about your situation – here and now. I know how does it sound, when you reading it, you may think that your hands are tight and there’s nothing you can do. I know how you may feel, as I was in similar place few years back, but try small – a choice of not letting others make you feel bad about yourself for example. Even a small action can take you to a better place! As if you change nothing, nothing is going to change. Now read past sentence again, and again and let it sink.
Much depends on your decision and determination. And I am here to help and assist you, as I went through my healing journey from my narcissistic abuse myself.
But is it worthy to invest in yourself and set up an online meeting with me? Especially now, during times of crisis and rising prices, is it worth “wasting” money on coaching sessions?
Furthermore, with so many coaches and therapists available online, some might even offer cheaper prices for their services – why should I choose you, Sandra?
- My answer will be always – yes, it is worthy to invest in yourself. And in my opinion, every person should visit professional, at least once a life time, just to make sure – everything with you is alright, and even to hear – it is great to see you however there is nothing I could possibly help you with as you are living your life for fullest. Imagine hearing that?
- Making yourself a priority may seem like a selfish job to do, especially at first, after years of being involved in relationship with a narcissist, where your needs came last. But, you need to know, you are worthy to feel good in being yourself!
- I am here for you. What’s more I can work with you outside of “working hours”, depending on your time zone and my availability we can have sessions early mornings, late evenings and even weekends. There are no excuses!
- I am trained Hypnotherapist – we can achieve a lot by using specific techniques, implementing new beliefs, supporting your better choices.
- I can introduce you to Brainspotting, a method of processing trauma memories, stored in your body – this way you can get a quick, located under one session understanding of your certain reactions to specific situations in day to day life. For example, one of the most common question asked by my clients was “Why am I attracted to certain men?”. Well, we are more than able to answer this sort of questions during our sessions.
- There is absolutely nothing more important in your life than YOU yourself. Yes, you matter and you are important, even if sometimes you don’t feel like you do. If you have children, very often their needs come first, especially when they are very young. But you are you, you are not a mum / dad only, not a partner, worker – these are parts of your identity. But if I would ask you the questions: “Who are you” , “What do like to do”, “What makes you happy”, “What are you dreams about” – what would be your answer? Do you dream, or maybe you have abandoned your dreams in order to survive?
I wil help you to understand why you feel the way you do. Narcissistic abuse is very specific, involving lots of manipulation, including gaslighting where you stop believing yourself and getting more confused about what is real, between you and abuser. Very often you take a blame on you, trying to explain why the other person hurts you, at the same time feeling there is something wrong with you. I know how confusing it all feels, as I was there too! I went through my healing, became a Narcissistic Abuse Specialist and now I offer help in understanding what is or was going on in your relationship in order to process it, heal and move on.
Together we are able to find ways to deal with a person with narcissistic personality. If you need to share parental responsibility over the children, I will help you with co-parenting.
Breaking up with a narcissist is another unique situation in your life – you should feel better as you’re no longer stuck in toxic relationship. However you are not getting any better and the understanding of the process of getting un-addicted (yes, read that again) is crucial. Knowledge is power, and when you understand why you feel the way you do, you’ll become more open to move forward, even if that means, as cheesy as it sounds,, to be happy again, or more like it – to learn to be happy.
I will help you to understand that, it is you who makes choices about your life. I know, at first it may sounds unbelievable – me? Making change? No! But please trust me on this, as it is you making change, step by step, brick by brick in everyday choices, changing the habits that don’t serve you to the ones which will become you new best friend. Yes, it means leaving your comfort zone, facing all sort of fears and doing what YOU FEEL IS RIGHT AND SAFE for you. We will find your strenght, as you have one, it may feel non-existing and forgotten, but look at you, what you went through – it is your strong self holding you together and so it is time to give yourself credit for that.
One of the stories, that will stay with me forever is about our grandparents’ childhood. Back then, children have completely different chores and needed to help parents with animals. Very often, children were walking barefoot, as shoes were usually worn once a week, to Sunday service. As you can imagine, it could be cold when you’re out on the cold grass covered with morning dew and often ice – with no shoes on. So, when they took cows to pastures, one way to keep yourself warm was to step into cows poo. Stinky and disgusting for us now, back then kept their feet warm for a while. I am mentioning this story, as an example that we choose what seems better and safer option for us, even when it’s not something to be proud of. Don’t judge yourself for staying in place that don’t suit you – you probably have chosen it as it seems safer than any other option. But please remember, there is whole new world outside “safety zone”. I’m not promising you sunshine and oranges, however I know life is great, and if you need support in order to see you always have a choice – I am here, for you. Now that, you are never alone!
I will support you with your choices and stand by your side, giving you time and space needed.
I know how you may feel as I was in same place, you can be right now. A few years back I felt like an empty shell, a person without identity or purpose in life. After I went through my own therapy, I started to learn more about life with, or in most appropriate word – surviving narcissistic people and the struggles arising after breakup. When I have discovered how many (usually) women suffer from narcissistic abuse, all around the world, I decided to help other women in their journey of freedom.
And no, you don't have to experience narcissistic abuse to contact me. I am trauma informed coach, what means I can help you to understand your past as a way to be happier now and for the future.
No matter what your experience is, I am here – ready to help. I am an empath what means I naturally get how does it feel to be in your shoes. My education and experience helps me to understand all those who have experienced narcissistic abuse in relationships, in parent-child dynamics, or in a workplace setting.
I also have years of experience working with autistic children and their families. Currently focused on neurodiversity and anxiety to provide even better understanding of my own family members as well as my clients. Neurodivergence is such a vast area of needs, that have to be acknowledged and understand to make happy living. If you look at it from trauma perspective, it’s getting even more interesting!
I approach every person from the perspective of understanding trauma, as what has happened in your past makes you, how you respond, what sort of choices you make – here and now. All the emotions that come within your healing process are welcome, even those we might label as “negative”, as they do have something to say.
I enjoy both, provocative and systemic therapy, which in a warm and friendly way challenges the beliefs we’ve adopted in our daily life. Every experience is different, as we vary from one another but please know that I am here to help you understand, what is it you’re going through and how to make right choices for yourself.
If what you have read so far, resonates with you, please drop me an e-mail and make a choice in order to change your life for better.
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I like to think that my future self is grateful for the choices I make now, as I know I am in better place now comparing to where I was few years back.
Freedom, happiness and fullfilment are for everyone to enjoy! Don’t hesitate – 5 4 3 2 1 – make a move!